Hello reader,

I’ve neglected you! Consistency is going down as one of my 2010 resolutions. I’ve always had problems finishing stuff, or keeping stuff up. But I am pretty awesome at starting stuff  As a child, I started and quit tennis, piano, horseback riding, ice skating, softball, and probably other hobbies I can’t remember. I have five books I’m currently reading and have not finished. I learn piano pieces up to the chorus and don’t care for the rest. I rarely finish a song on my iPod from start to finish. Even my love life never seems to have a successful end.

Wow Ang. Typing all that up just made me realize: I am a quitter.

I’ve always been a big believer in trying and experiencing as much as possible… which may explain the quitting pattern. You gotta let go of something to try something new, right? I look at this as, me having one very well-rounded life! I still want to become an investigative reporter working overseas, and publish a book, write a movie script, join the Peace Corps, start a restaurant, adopt a child from Africa, deal in Vegas (but only for a few months), start an NGO, drive a truck cross country, stand on my head for more than five seconds… you know, save the world. But what’s the use if you never take the time to really master anything? Sure, you become one versatile human being. But the result is, your chances of making an impact in this world get smaller and smaller with the more activities you take on.

At age 23, I’m finally coming to this realization. It’s sad, but I know many 20 somethings (and 30 somethings!) who are struggling to find their paths right now. We were all told we can take on the world after graduation. “Follow your dreams” was our high school and college mantras. And we believed stupid Nike and their “Just Do It” campaign. But the post-grad world’s a lot bigger — and uglier — than we all thought, isn’t it? There isn’t a planned semester coming up, or a grade report we can show off or hide that tracks our progress. And now people seem to be telling us to be more realistic and responsible, and to be less curious and more careful. Is this what growing up entails? Adults tell us to follow our dreams for 20 years, and now all of a sudden they tell us they’re just kidding and now we should just settle with any job that gives us money and status?

I don’t know about you, but I think security is way overrated. And boring.

Now if you know me, you know I was the epitome of an overachiever and people pleaser in college. I double-majored, worked three jobs, started campus organizations ground-up, and helped the university start it’s first Asian American Studies Program. My hard head never let me admit to people when I struggled. I also always had a smile on my face. And I was determined to make a positive difference wherever I went. Overachievers have it very rough when they leave their perfect little world of academia. Naturally, most of us have problems with authority, just because we’re so pig-headed at the core. And, we think we’re capable of doing it all faster and better than the older folks. We’re egotistical, annoying sons of bitches. Admit it.

Hence… why most 20 somethings I know right now are either depressed, going through therapy, have no job, hate their jobs, hate their lives, etc. Most 20 somethings are confused and overwhelmed. Trust me, I know. I play “therapist” for many of my friends. And, I’ve been going through my share of growing pains as well. They can be confusing as hell. They don’t call it your “terrible twenties” for no reason.

I’ve experimented quite a bit since graduating from Syracuse. I continued with my overachieving and people-pleasing personality, but realized this leads to a dead-end road, and will turn you into a bitter and lonely human being. Especially if you put success and other people before your own happiness. That’s mistake #1 right there.

I also learned the importance of balance. This one’s so important. Finding a balance between everything — from work and rest, talking and listening, giving and taking, and from feeding your curiosity and being responsible. For instance, giving and taking is human and a healthier, happier way to live. I know many women (and few men) who feel guilty when they take, myself included. Yet we give, give, give all the time. It’s been interesting to see why we people pleasers are the ones who struggle the most with identity and finding happiness. As the great Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

But it’s also important to always be true to yourself. I also went through a phase of wanting to fit the mold of the corporate culture in the company I joined right after graduation. I watched others and tried to act like they did, so I can be “accepted” and “liked.” If you keep this act long enough, it will begin to fool you. You are also at risk of losing some of your best personality traits. Don’t fall into this trap, no matter how much you want to prove yourself in your job. You don’t need everyone to like you. Focus on what matters — doing your job well and helping your boss to his/her job. Then you clock out and HAVE A LIFE. Tons of articles out there will tell you to act a certain way to get ahead in your career, and get others to like you on your work floor. I say, to hell with them. Be true to who you are, whoever that might be. As crazy as you may think you are, your company probably could use some color in their department. How many dull ass robots do you meet working for big old Corporate America? Just think about that. (Not calling all of my colleagues dull or anything! Oh the dangers of social media ha ha). But again, this one needs a reasonable balance too. I’m not saying to walk in the office tomorrow with a tongue ring and tube top exposing your new chest tattoo, or to punch your colleague next time they make you angry just cuz you “felt” like it. Still be professional and respectful when expressing your opinions, and yourself. You get the gist.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a grand finale of answers to everything. I’m no genius, so sorry! I’m still figuring things out. I’m only 23. Jeez. I don’t even know when my psycho babble turned into a self-help article! I just figured, I haven’t written in a while! And I’m in the mood to write down my thoughts. I hoped this helped a few of you, or was at least of some interest to some of you!

Maybe I should add “Write Memphis and Blue Ridge Parkway Entries” to my 2010 Resolutions, too. What do you think?

Angie